Friday, April 1, 2011

The Xanga Diaries: Part I

One night in March, I was bored and decided to see if my Xanga account was still active. To my surprise, it was, even though I had gone through the steps to have it deleted a long time ago. As I read all the entries from when I was 21-23 years old, I realized that some of my entries were hinting on angst (this was also the time where I was a new mom and was married to my ex-husband... so some of my entries about my ex were not revealing what was really going on behind closed doors).

After I read all the entries, I decided that I'm going to share them. I have separated the entries into seven blogs, which will be randomly dispersed this month.

To my close girlfriends who may or may not read these... I'm going to apologize now if any of these entries hurt your feelings. This time of my life had a lot of darkness in it... as you guys might remember.


Friday, December 31, 2004

Four Women, Four Long-Term Relationships, and Four Babies

Three years ago, six close girlfriends spend time together during their senior year of high school. Throughout the year, two of them would always be against each other, either about spreading rumors or about a guy or even about not spending time with each other. Once high school ended, they all went their separate ways to live their dreams. But for four of these girls, life threw them something they never expected to have before their five year reunion... babies. Each had their own unique qualities that made them known to people in high school and now they all are experiencing what parenthood is all about. Even though life can change with a pregnancy test, can a person still be the same after having a baby?

Lets start with the first one to have a baby. In high school, she was the purest of the group and always loyal to her friends. She did not have her first long-term boyfriend until the end of senior year. He later became her fiance and moved in with her and her family. She got pregnant in fall 2003 and had a son in May 2004. She currently works full time, takes care of her son, and is still planning on her dream of opening her own daycare center. She and her fiance are planning to get married in the next year or two and eventually move out to a place of their own.

Then there is number two. She was the wildest of the group and had an on-again, off-again boyfriend for four years (2 years high school, 2 years after). She was the first one to get a place of her own after graduation and all she did was work, party, and spent time with whoever she dated at the time. She also got pregnant in fall 2003, but got married to the father in April 2004. Two months later, she gave birth to a girl six weeks early, creating a little stress on her and hubby. She isn't working so she spends all the time with the baby. She might go back to work, but she isn't sure.

The third one to have a baby is me. If i could describe myself in high school, I was the hopeless romantic who knew she wanted to be a writer. After high school, I went to one college in St. Louis, then came back home to go to the community college. One day, after finishing my finals in 2003, I met a guy at the drive in. By October, we were engaged, living together the next month, and I was pregnant in February 2004. We had Truman in November. I wasn't planning on returning to work, but ended up due to unexpected bills. I'm still going to college, but I'm limited to doing night and weekend classes.

The last of the four women is still pregnant. She was the one that was all talk and no action, but was always there to defend her friends. A few months before graduation, her family moved an hour away, forcing her to graduate without her close friends. She soon after moved in with her grandparents and met a great guy. As time went on, the guy and her would fight, leading to him abusing her mentally, then physically. After one of the girls and I (and our men) tried to help her get out of the situation, she still ended up back with him and stopped defending us when he would threaten to hurt her friends. She is now pregnant with his son and has to deal with some rejection and disappointment from her close friends.

These women have gone through many life changes in the past three years, and we all compare how we were and how we are. It seems like we are all generally the same, but we all have little bundles of joy to care for and love, as well as the men who got us pregnant.

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