Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Fashion Trends That I Would Not Miss if They Disappeared from Earth... Forever

I am not a fashionista. If it wasn't for Sex and the City and The Devil Wears Prada, I would probably know jack shit about high-end fashion and fashion trends. I do feel, to an extent, that I have a smart sense of fashion. I try to experiment with new styles of clothing, just not enough. Like every other female out there, I have made some errors and wondered "What the hell was I thinking?" when reflecting back on some of my choices in clothing. I also know there are some fashion trends that make me wonder how in the hell they were popular in the first place? I dedicate this blog to the fashion trends that I wish I never learned of, or witnessed.

The Wonder Bra:
Ok, I'm very well endowed in the chest area so I have never needed to use one. But, I want to speak for my guy friends that love boobs. There is a time where a guy can be very disappointed when removing lingerie. When a guy gets excited looking to find a C cup and realizing that it's actually an A cup, it's a real "downer." I know that buying one of these bras is a hell of a lot cheaper than plastic surgery, but please. Spare the agonizing moment for the guy you are with and just try being youself for once. Seriously.

Ok, so this is a trend that I just became aware of last week. Jeggings are leggings that are made to look like tight denim jeans. Its popularity peaked in early 2009. Ok, why???? Jeans are made to feel like jeans and come in a variety of styles. Leggings, at least for me, are best in solid colors, and dont have pockets. Why would you make a faux pocket on leggings? I know they designed this as something else to go with the skinny jeans trend, but no. Just no. Go away and rot at the bottom of some size 0 girl's closet.

Overly Baggy Jeans/Boxer exposure:
Ok, this was a huge trend when I was in junior high and high school, and it has carried over to today. Most of the people that dress this way are completely ignorant about how this trended in the first place. You see, in prison, if you sagged your jeans that would help determine to the other inmates that you like taking it up the butt. True story. This trend promotes ass play. I'm all for homosexual loving, but when I know a straight guy is doing this just because they think it looks good, I laugh and hope that they never end up in a cell. That would be an eye-opening experience, lol

Shoulder Pads:
I have always hated shoulder pads. When I was in grade school (before I starting buying my own clothes) my Mom seemed to get me all kinds of jackets and sweaters with shoulder pads. Since when was I concerned about how comfortable my shoulders would be when wearing something? I mean, I am not a football player so why the extra padding? The only thing I currently own with shoulder pads is part of a professional, two piece business outfit. That's my only exception, and it still bugs me.

Tattoos that Cover EVERY Surface of the Body:
Tattoos are a cool way to express yourself. A few tattoos are ideal for most. However, when every single part of your body looks like a brick wall covered in graffiti, you overdid it. Then again, you may be able to get away with people thinking you are wearing a see-thru long sleeved t-shirt. Extra points if a fashion designer asks you to make a few dozen of them to show to perspective buyers!!!

Banana Hammock/Speedos:
Once I saw Borat in one, I was done. Even if for some reason there is a very complimenting pic of, say Usher or David Cook in one, I just couldn't take it seriously. Oh, neon colored ones are the WORST *gag*

Is it a pair of shorts or is it a skirt? Well, someone had the idea to combine the two!!! I had one of these when I was twelve. Back then I wasn't comfortable with skirts, so having them feel like shorts made me feel better. Now I see them as completely pointless. If I feel like shorts, I wear shorts. If I want to be girly, I'll put on a skirt. No more combos!

Now, with that said, there are some trends that a lot of people hate that I just love. But I will save that for another time!


  1. 1.) Jeggings need to go away and they need to go now. Along with skinny jeans.

    2.) Sagging the pants.. Seriously guys, it doesn't even look cool. "You look like a foo wit yo pants on the ground". I agree it was created to promote ass play. I too have no problem with the gay-lovin if that's your thing. I however am just taking a stab in the dark that the 'ghetto' kids of the world don't know this. If you have to walk around with your hand in your crotch trying to keep your pants up there's something wrong with you. Not okay. I can't express how much this look bugs me.

    My own list:
    3.) Those damn roller shoes. Every time I see those I want to stick my foot out and trip the person wearing them.

    4.) To some extent the Emo look bothers me. I say to some extent because it's more so when the 'tortured suburban my parents don't understand me' kids wear it. You're not a tortured artist living in a trendy art district. You're a spoiled little brat who acts like life is hard to be cool.

    5.) What the hell is up with those "sunglasses" with the slits in them?

    That's all I got. I'm sure I'll think of more.

  2. HAHA I didn't know where the baggy jeans trend came from. That's hilarious. I hope those people DO end up in a cell and figure it out. Please save us from seeing any more than we have to!

  3. I agree... Pull your damn pants up people!!!

  4. While I certainly don't doubt the veracity of your statement about the baggy/saggy pants look, is there any chance you could provide some citation for this? I, too, want nothing more than to have this trend go away, and being able to give the offenders a URL pointing out that they are inviting a rectal exam from a cellmate would go a HELL of a long way! :D