Sunday, September 19, 2010

Epic Failures and Embarrassing Moments. Wait... Aren't Those the Same Thing??

-One particular day in the eighth grade, my friends and I were enjoying lunch as usual. My friend Shannon starts laughing at something, which caused her to wave her arms up. As she does this, she hits her can of Sunny D in the process. It spills out and some of the liquid lands on my white South Park t-shirt... right at crotch level. I never realized that the color consistancy of Sunny D is very similar to urine. Fortunately, tying a plaid shirt around your waist was still a popular trend at this time, and my friend Kathryn was willing to save me from further embarrassment outside the lunchroom.

-I was kind of a tomboy in my elementary school days... climbing trees, jumping fences, and practicing wheelies on my bike. So there was one time, when I was about 12, where my friends and I were jumping over a fence. I was pretty confident climbing up the 4 foot chain link fence and sat on top of it to jump down. As I start my jump, I realize my pants are stuck to the fence. It was too late. My pants ripped on BOTH back thighs and left some pretty big holes. To this day, I have avoided sitting on a fence, maybe even jumping them too.

-When I was 19, I spent a lot of time hanging out with my friend Robin. One day, we were leaving our friend Maria's house in her car. We were near the bowling alley when I noticed a massive puddle of water that had formed from a wave of recent rainshowers. I realize Robin is getting dangerously close to it and start freaking out. I shout "PUDDLE!" kinda loudly. She drives through it anyway and, to my realization, knew it wasn't deep at all. Epic fail. Ever since then, every time we see each other and there is a puddle around, she makes sure to point it out to me (or randomly brings it up on my Facebook).

-In May of this year, I was on my way home from the I-70 Drive In with Truman. I was going through Raytown when I notice a police car pass me, turn around, and then pull me over. Apparently I had my parking lights on, but not my headlights. Ok, no big deal. So I retrieve my license and insurance information for the officer. As I am doing this, Truman starts talking to him. I glance back at Truman through the rearview mirror. To my horror, he is holding his extra pair of Transformers underwear and showing them to the officer. I couldn't look at the officer for the rest of the very short time left with him.

-This one is very cliche, but it does happen. Case in point... I was about 10 or 11 and a lot of my extended family from St. Louis was in town to celebrate Christmas at my grandparents. I don't remember if it was from my Mom or Grandma, but to have to show everyone the 3-4 pairs of underwear, especially in front of my cousins Scott and Jason (who were teens at the time), was not something I expected to do that year.

-I had worked at Pizza Hut in the short time that I was living in Fort Scott, Kansas. There was a family of four that ordered two pizzas. As I was walking to their table, one of the pizzas started to slide off pan. When I was less than 10 feet from their table, the pizza lost the battle with the pan. It crashed to the ground. I hastily get the other pizza to them while apologizing like crazy for them having to wait while the kitchen started making a new, floorless pizza.

-I was at a party with the Home Depot crew back in 2007. There was an awesome turnout and a few drinking games were in action. I decided to try my skills playing Jerry's Kids. [Basic rules: you have 3 shots to drink while someone rolls a pair of dice. If they roll doubles before you finsih the shots, you have to refill the shots and drink again... a total of six shots] We were using Bud Light that night. As I assumed, I lost and had to refill. Being new to drinking games was not helping me, plus the fact that the beer was foamy. I was trying to drink them way too fast, and immediately regurgitated the liquid. My skills have greatly improved since then, thanks to many beer pong games.

-I attended the annual carnival at my junior high with a few of my friends. When it was over, we were all standing outside waiting for our parents to pick us up. For some reason, I was feeling a little hyper. I jumped around a little and ended up bodyslamming my friend Eric. Neither of us crashed to the ground, but we made sure to keep a safe distance from each other.

-From the age of 14 to about 17, I was overly confident when walking outside in winter. I cannot tell you how many times I have slipped on ice and landed on my butt. Many of those times were in front of my house. Those two steps from the front door to the sidewalk were missed many times. And no, I have never broken anything in the process.

-I was 19 and having a low key Saturday afternoon. I didn't have to work so I thought I would watch a few of the free rentals I got as a benefit to being a Blockbuster employee. I made raman noodles and was carrying them out to the living room. The bowl was hotter than I expected. I naturally let go and it landed on my right foot. Searing hot noodles and boiling water. Major ouch. I ran to the bathroom and stuck my foot in the sink while blasting cold water. The evidence of my foot burn lasted a couple weeks, but at least I didn't cause any permanent damage. *smacks forehead

-For 2001 New Years, I joined my sister and her youth group for a night of fun: Sports City in Blue Springs, bowling, roller skating, and a movie in one of the churches in Lee's Summit. When we went to Landmark to go skating, and I was pumped! I hadn't gone roller skating for years at that point and was ready to have some fun. I was trying to stop the skates while turning at the same time. It doesn't work. I landed on my tailbone. I stopped skating for the night. About three weeks later, sitting in one of my classes, I finally notice that my tailbone stopped hurting.

Note to self: Overconfidence causes pain and embarrassment... must remember that to prevent more moments like these!

1 comment:

  1. The story about Truman showing his spare underwear to the cop was priceless. I've actually been to that Drive In even though I am fairly new to Missouri. I saw Dawn of the Dead there and Day After Tomorrow, two separate times.