Three years ago, I was in the middle of getting a divorce. That time was a little difficult for me, even though I made the decision to get out of the abusive marriage. I told myself to not get involved with anyone new until the divorce was finalized. It was actually very easy to do, since I had no interest in dating. I wanted to focus on my own self discovery and to take care of my son.
Having all of that time for self discovery was something I needed to do. If I were to date a guy in that time, it would not have been fair to him because I was not emotionally ready. I heard something from one of my favorite tv shows that to get over someone, it takes about half the time of the duration of the relationship. So that would have been a little over two years for me. Now I know that theory doesn't work on everyone, but to have a good amount of time to focus on you does wonders.
I have seen several friends and coworkers go through the same thing as me. However, most of them started dating new people just weeks after a separation. Of these people, none of them were already involved prior to separation. Seeing that made me realize that I took a different route than the others. It seemed that those individuals were wanting to fill this immediate hole that was created upon separation. I get that... I really do. I just wish that they would have taken my example and focused on themselves.
It wasn't until last summer that I found myself sitting in a car where, after hours of enjoyable conversation, the guy I was with leaned in and took my breathe away with a kiss. That night helped me realize that I was ready to start dating again and, given time, be in a relationship.
So what exactly was it that I learned? It's easy. When you find yourself at the end of a relationship or marriage, you need time to heal and rediscover yourself. I don't take it as a recommendation... it's a MUST DO!!! You will regret it if you don't.