Before I go into this blog, I need to say something. Hate is a very strong word and I do not normally use it. So for me to really hate something about myself is not really that possible, but there are several things that I express with great animosity.
There are a few things that I dislike about myself. Since I was born a Scorpio, I am, by nature, a jealous and stubborn person. I can deal with that since I am not known for either of those things, and when I get that way, it's pretty mild. I have blogged before about my weight/body issues, so why do another one like that? Maybe about the fact that I get road rage over stupid drivers??? I could, but sometimes I enjoy that, hehe.
There is something that really stands out that I dislike though, and it's pretty disturbing...
Let's say that I'm driving down the highway. I'll have the music on as I'm making my way toward whatever destination I am headed toward. Then, I will imagine that the two cars in front of me violently crash into each other, causing chaos on the highway. I make a very rash decision and swerve like crazy to avoid being part of the pileup.
I imagine scenarios like this a lot.
Actually, that one is pretty mild. I've imagined getting a phone call that my ex-husband died in a fire. I've also pictured, when going down windy roads, a huge buck run in front of my Jeep and I have no time to avoid the impact. Or where my parents are killed and I inherit their house, which I turn around and move into their bedroom and redecorate every room to my personal tastes. A few nights ago, driving home from seeing Saw 3D, I imagined someone hiding in the back of my Jeep, waiting for the right opportunity to kidnap me (yes, in a cloak and a boar's head mask).
I'm not exactly proud that my mind thinks these things, but it makes me wonder if that's part of being human... vividly imagining worst case scenarios happening to you and/or your loved ones. I wonder if anyone else imagines things like this too, or am I really just a dark and twisted person? Do others get into graphic detail about these scenarios? I hope I'm not alone in this...